MOM | MY EASTER MESSAGE | March 12, 2008 |
MOM | TO MY DEAREST SON | January 8, 2008 |
THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN A YEAR OF LIVING HELL . IT SEEMS LIKE JUST A COUPLE OF HOURS AGE THAT THE OFFICER AND THE CORNER WERE IN THIS HOUSE TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAD PASSED ON AND LEFT US ALL ALONE. IT WAS THE GREATEST HEARTBREAK THAT I HAVE EVER FELT TO DATE. THERE ISNT A DAY OR AN HOUR THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU. YOUR ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS. IT WAS VERY HARD TO LAY YOUR ASHES TO REST WITH YOUR DAD THIS PAST JULY, I ALMOST DIDNT, IN PUTTING THAT SHELL IN THE GROUND MEANT IT WAS REAL, A REALITY THAT I KEPT HOPING ON SOME LEVAL THAT WAS A LIE, A JOKE, THAT YOU WERE STILL HERE WITH ME, NOW AND THAT I COULD GO FIRST SO AS NOT TO HAVE TO FEEL ALL THIS PAIN AND HEARTBREAK..NO SUCH LUCK. I THOUGHT A LOT OF YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY IN OCTOBER, OF WHEN YOU WERE BORN, THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU, THE FIRST TIME YOUR DAD SAW YOU, ABOUT YOUR TODDLER YEARS, AND ALL THE OTHER GROWING UP YOU DID OVER THE YEARS TO BECOME THE MAN YOU ARE , KIND, CARING, OVERLY PROTECTIVE OF THOSE YOU CHOSE TO LOVE AND THAT LOVED YOU IN RETURN, YOUR LAUGH, THE PRANKSTER IN YOU, HOW EMPTY I FELT HERE WITHOUT YOU, NOT THAT I DONT LOVE YOUR SISTERS AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU ALL VERY DEEPLY, I CHERISH THE FACT THAT I STILL HAVE THEM WITH ME, BUT VERY MUCH MOURN THE LOSS I FEEL BECAUSE YOU LEFT. I FELT YOUR PAIN WHEN YOU WERE HERE, I KNOW NOW AS I TRIED TO TSKE COMFORT ON JANUARY 5, 2007 THAT YOU WERE FINALLY AT PEACE AND COULD NEVER AGAIN FEEL THE PAIN OF THIS WORLD. IT COMFORTED ME, BUT IT DIDNT. I THOUGHT OF YOU AT HALLOWEEN, HOW YOU LIKED TO RAID THE CANDY BUCKET, THEN SNEAK EXTRA CANDY TO THE KIDS, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD BEEN GIVEN A LOT, THAT WAS JUST YOU, BEING THE WONDERFUL 'UNCLE WHITE" AT THANKSGIVING I MISS THE TURKEY YOU ALWAYS LIKED TO FRY FOR US, AT ALEXS BIRTHDAY HE WANTED FRIED TURKEY LIKE YOU USED TO DO FOR HIM,SO RITCHIE STEPPED UP AND TRIED TO FILL YOUR SHOES AND FRY AJ HIS TURKEY SO IT COULD BE ALMOST LIKE AN UNCLE WHITE TURKEY IT WAS GOOD BUT YOU WERE STILL SADLY MISSED THAT DAY AND EVERY DAY SINCE.CHRISTMAS WAS ANOTHER VERY DIFFICULT HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOU I KEPT THINKING OF THE YEAR BEFORE, OUR LAST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER, NOT KNOWING AT THE TIME IT WOULD BE OUR LAST ONE, THEN THE FIRST ANNIVERSITY OF YOUR PASSING WAS JUST AS BAD AS WHEN I FIRST FOUND OUT YOU HAD GONE, LIKE THE WHOLE LAST YEAR HAD NEVER HAPPENED, I MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER SAY . THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I THINK OF YOU AND WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE YOU A MESSAGE HERE OR LIGHT A CANDLE JUST TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVENT FORGOTTEN YOU, I NEVER COULD, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT A DUMB ASS I AM WHEN IT COMES TO BEAS COMPUTER, OR ANY COMPUTER, YOU ALWAYS HAD TO HELP ME CHECK MY BANK STATEMENTS WHEN I NEEDED TO, BUT TODAY BEA LEFT HER COMPUTER ON AND ON YOUR SITE FOR MY, SHOWED ME HOW TO READ SOME OF IT, SO AT LEAST TODAY I CAN ACCESS IT TO LEAVE YOU SOME MESSAGES AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAVENT FORGOTTEN YOU OR THAT I EVER WILL. WE WILL BE WATCHING OVER CRYSTAL FOR YOU AND TRYING TO HELP HER CHOSE THE RIGHT PATH FOR HER LIFE TO TRAVEL, JUST AS YOU WOULD IF YOU WERE HERE, BUT BEING YOUR DAUGHTER, SHE CAN BE JUST AS HARD HEADED AS YOU WERE, BUT WE WILL STILL BE THERE FOR HER, AND AS FOR THOMAS, ALL WE CAN DO IS KEEP TRYING TO GET TO BE IN HIS LIFE AT SOME POINT, AND IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO LET HIM KNOW THE KIND OF DAD HE HAD IN YOU. TO HELP HIM GET TO KNOW YOU THROUGH OUR MEMORIES OF YOU I KNOW ITS NOT THE SAME AS YOU BEING HERE TO TELL HIM YOURSELF, BUT WE CAN TRY TO DO THE NEXT BEST MEMORIES OF YOU. I HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND THE ETERNAL PEACE YOU WRE LOOKING FOR AND SO DESERVINGLY SHOULD HAVE, ALL MY LOVE THEN, NOE AND FOR ALL ALTERNITY MOM
Carol | From Forest Lake | September 6, 2007 |
I just recently learned of Dwights passing and was saddened. I will miss the delicious pizza he would make at the pizza man in forest lake years ago. He made them just like I like them,with lots of cheese and goodies. We'll miss you Dwight. God bless your family and friends,and keep them well.
Long lost friend from Forest Lake
Carol
mom | to my only son | April 3, 2007 |
To my dearest son,
When you left it was the most devastating and heart breaking time i ever had, the day they told me you had left. As i watched you grow over the years, you always did things your way-right - wrong - or in between - it was your way. I'll always remember the good, bad, happy and sad times watching you grow. You tried hard to show the world your tough guy - " I DON'T GIVE A SHIT" attitude and how you watched over and protected those who you cared about. Very few people were ever allowed to see the depth of your loving, caring, "marshmallow" side. I was honored to see this. I watched you suffer the past couple years with illness and whatever. feeling your painbut unable to take it away. Part of my heart is gratful you are now at peace and can hurt no more, the other part of my heart is painfully broken knowing you're no longer here. I no longer hear your laughter. I don't think this part will ever stop feeling the pain. I think of you daily, as i have since the first time i ever saw you. With great sorrow i place you in the arms of those i love and hold dear who have gone before until the time we can be together again. Be Happy, Rest in peace,you are sadly missed by all you left behind.
Enjoy the beatiful set of wings, I know you have earned them. Untill we meet again, All my love now and forever my beloved son, MOM
Mary Menge | great job Bea | April 1, 2007 |
This is a awsome tribute to the Life of Dwight and it will help all of us to keep him close and to remember how special he was. I hope that looking at Dwights smiling face will bring back memories as they did for me Bea you did a great job and you do your brother proud